The REAL Reason You Have an ED (Being ‘Perfect’ is Hurting YOU!)
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Hey everyone I’m Abbey Sharp welcome to Abbey’s Kitchen. In todays video, we will be talking about perfectionism and the risk of it causing eating disorders.
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A FEW DISCLAIMERS
1) The information in this video is for education and entertainment purposes only, so you should always speak to a health care provider about your unique health needs.
2) Please use this video (as with all of my review videos) as educational, not as unique recommendations.
3) Please be kind in the comments.
4) Trigger warning to those with disordered eating tendencies.
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With Science & Sass,
Xoxo Abbey
Thank you for still posting even though there has been some backlash. You’re videos are really helping me and it may not be everyones tea, but I do really enjoy your informational content. 🥰
There has been backlash? Why? She puts real information out there with sources instead of just randomly claiming things like other people.
Sadly, I’ve seen a lot of content recently that has been targeted against her, which has shocked me quiet honestly. I really don’t get the hate.
@Cherry 🍒 I don’t get it either
@Cherry 🍒 Maybe you should step out of your echo chamber and watch some of that content, then you might get it…
Hey abbey! I had an ed so your video is absolutely appreciated! Could you do another video about PCOS and what we can do?
Im not diagnosed but I have male hair growth and I cant remember a cyle that wasnt about 200 days long. How can we support our bodies with nutrition?
Yep, this is 100% me, extreme perfectionist and it is exhausting! I have even started transferring this onto my son, which I realize is probably not great. I obsess about his grades, just like I did my own and I have had (or currently have) all of those health conditions you listed
Agreed so exhausting
Thank you so much for this video, as a perfectionist that has struggled with perfectionism and disordered eating, it feels good to know there is logic behind my problems
for sure!!
The only reason why I’m only a perfectionist about some things is that there’s just not enough time in a day to focus on every detail of everything lol and I agree with you about to do lists to help free the mind and put things in perspective. I was definitely not a mothers and teacher’s best dream growing up but I did notice that my eating disorder flared up in my 11th grade year which was around the time when I decided to finally crack down and start concentrating more heavily on my studies . I believe there’s a correlation and one thing may have fed into another .
I’m a recovering perfectionist too. I was horribly burnt out in my 20s and decided that as a flat rule 80% is good enough. I didn’t want to be all-consumed by my anxiety. I also gave up almost all social media. Comparison really is the thief of joy.
A licensed dietitian and psychologist sister duo? That’s so powerful!
yesss
I have thoughts about going back to the way I used to eat and everytime I have these thoughts I watch you or other influencers that have a healthy relationship with food it helps. Then I make sure even if I have these thoughts to try to eat anyways. I have always had perfectionism. It used to be worse I would cry everytime something went wrong.
I have OCD and autism and I can relate to this so much! The black-and-white thinking and obsessions and compulsions really work super well together to make the brain believe there’s only one way to look!
black and white thinking is one of my biggest mental hurdles – you are not alone
Abbey! I’ve been a long time watcher, but this video prompted me to comment as it totally hit home. As a recovering perfectionist myself, I just wanted to say thank you so much for your transparency and insight on this specific topic.
thanks Katie! ❤
I recently learned in my intro psych class about maximizing and satisficing. While satisficing means accepting things that are good enough, maximizing is very similar to perfectionism. I am a huge maximizer and it really affects my eating habits, whether its worrying about nutrition or having routines and rituals to make sure that I enjoy my food as much as humanly possible. It makes every decision feel like a huge deal to agonize over, and I totally relate in that way to your struggles with perfectionism. Thank you Abbey, your videos always help me feel better and do better for myself💗
This hits so close to home. I spent my youth as an extreme perfectionist with (undiagnosed, but in hindsight definitely the case) disordered eating driven by my mother’s demands/criticism. I am mostly recovered now in my late 30’s but those perfectionist tendencies can still flare up!
If Liz hadn’t made the videos on you I’d still be following her instead of you. And your videos are certainly much better for my recovery. Even on the bad days, I find if I watch your videos it makes sure I have at least some sort of healthy food relationship example/reminders of how unhealthy my behaviors are helpful.
Welcome to real healing and evidence based information 😌😌😌
Dear Abbey, thank you for another great video and for your honesty. I am freshly 45 years old and in these weeks it is my sad 30th anniversary of my never-ending struggle with ED (orthorexia), OCD, anxiety, all intensified by my strong perfectionism. It is so exhausting and enslaving.
I wish you good luck and I hope it gets better ♡
I guess I discovered exactly how useless over-focussing on “healthy diet and lifesyle” can be. I thought I was doing everything right. Great eating habits, exercise, no alcohol, no smoking! I still ended up nearly dying from an unexplainable illness! 4 major surgeries, 3 of which were life-saving (and no, it wasn’t cancer). Now, my only focus is on survival.
I hear you
And sometimes life’s mishaps are a gift
I got married older(36) and then ending up adopting our daughter at 40. I was as an older mom with a great corporate job and I didn’t fit the mold of the moms at school. That was a gift – we are all good – and no one size mold fits all
I love your videos! Thank you so much for being honest and transparent ❤ So many people on social media could stand to take a page from your book!
I am also a recovering perfectionist… taking what feels like forever 🤪
I was cleaning like a maniac stressing about people coming over on Halloween, but after this video I forced myself to leave the blanket unfolded and strewn on the ottoman, and it really did make me feel better! Great tip to not be perfect on purpose.
Everything you said resonates. I appreciate the content you share with us and I especially appreciate you referencing so many studies and real factual data. It’s refreshing and so needed in the saturated bs of social media echo chambers! I too went to school for dietetics, but sadly after graduating never continued the incredibly competitive path to become an RD. Life still worked out and thankfully it wasn’t the end of the world that I didn’t peruse the career I went to school for, and still paying student loans for eternity; it took many years later and lots of therapy to find peace with that. I don’t know if you felt this, but in reflecting on my college career and my fellow academics, it felt to me dietetics major’s tend to lean more perfectionistic personality? And the hyper competitive nature of the environment on the path to become an RD (at least for the era I was in) seemed to inflame the perfectionist tendencies and triggers. Curious if your experience can relate? WOW, that little thought I casually shared turned into a novel!🙃
Thank you for being you, I appreciate it!
THIS VIDEO IS SOOOO DAMN AMAZING ❤ Totally relatable being a woman with lean PCOS who has a 15.4 BMI and no periods since one year but is still scared to gain weight 😢