Ranking Women by Weight? Jubilee We Need to Talk (I Have THOUGHTS)
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Hey everyone I’m Abbey Sharp welcome to Abbey’s Kitchen. Today I am going to be unpacking Jubilee’s explosive social experiment where blindfolded women guess each others weight.
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As a person who’s fat and struggled with disordered eating in the past, I can actually relate to what the heavier women said.
Sure, I wanna lose weight and be healthier, but also I’m not really… mad at my body for being large? I mean I’m not going to deprive my body of what it needs anymore, and if that means it’ll take a little longer to reach a healthy weight, so be it. Either way, my body is still able to do a lot of cool things.
Yes yes yes yes yes❣️
Thanks for sharing this!
I had ED when I was younger with extreme anorexia for years and that carried over to my adult years. It wasn’t until I had chemo and gaining weight that I was truly over weight. I have a daughter and I always was very kind and never said the things I heard about food. I am now back on slimming down again but my daughter sees the thin people on social media and thinks she needs to fit that ideal when it’s not possible with how she is shaped with her curves she has. It’s not good for women to think that is the only option like my daughter who has a beautiful hourglass shape like my mom had
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your perspective and including the research. I am on my journey to recovery from anorexia and I committed to all in recovery and it has to be one of the hardest experiences I have ever endured. I am now at my highest weigh I have ever been at and as much as I am really struggling with my body right now I was struggling just as much when I was at my lowest which is teaching me that my body is not the problem. My appetite has finally regulated and I am working on learning to intuitively eat enough and trying to trust the process that my body will eventually settle to wherever its happy weight is and working on accepting that I can’t ever do anything to try to control that number. I am currently in school to become an eating disorder therapist and for one of my classes I have to facilitate a group for the class and I am going to do it on how eating disorder affect a persons ability to interpersonally connect. I am planning to use the Minnesota starvation experiment and I am going to look at the links you have provided below for more imperially validated information. I am a long time fan and your Chanel has been an instrumental part of your recovery. I love how you always include the research to back up what you are saying! thank you for all you do.
So glad my channel has been helpful in your journey❤
My mom was always talking about needing to lose weight or being on a diet when I was growing up and that heavily impacted my issues around food and weight (I binged and purged for a while and struggled with my body image since I can remember). When I was home last summer to visit she made a remark about needing to lose weight again, I told her I don’t wanna talk about it and that her diet talk had a really bad influence on my body image. She was severely offended by that and I guess it affected our already rocky relationship negatively but I’m kind of relieved to have said it out loud at least once
I still haven’t found the guts to directly say to my mom, “Stop talking about dieting.” All I’ve managed to do is say things lightheartedly like, “All food is good food!” and “It’s all about balance and listening to your body.” But it’s not enough. I’ve got to work up the courage like you did and say point blank: I don’t want to talk about dieting.
I’m so sorry, it’s so hard with parents and family
Hey Abbey, could you maybe do a video for those of us who always feel like they need to finish their plate, no matter how full they are? Seems to be a very common thing, at least in my experience, and I’d love to hear some tips on how to learn to stop eating when full, even if the plate isn’t empty.
Hey friend! I believe this comes from our parents perpetuating their food insecurity and telling you that you have to finish your plate when you were young. At least from my understanding, it’s more common in less well off households, or in children whose parents are from poorer upbringings. I still have a mental block with food waste, but something that has really helped me is getting a bunch of containers to be able to put leftovers in to eat later. Another trick is that people usually have a sign that their body is pretty done eating. Might just be a change of pace eating, leaning back in your seat away from your food, I tend to sigh really hard. You just have to start being aware of your cue. Or try putting less on your plate to begin with but not being scared of getting seconds!
I just figured out this is a main struggle for me and noticed I can get the same satisfaction on “cleaning my plate” or hitting the bottom of a chip bag by buy single serving chips and ordering kids meals if I go out etc. I’m still getting full and satisfied, but not so full I need to lay down after because I feel ill. Maybe it’s something that’ll help you too. I would love a video on this as well.
@@Alyssa684 I really agree with everything you said. I think a lot of people of my generation (I’m 50 years old) grew up being told to not waste food and finish all the food on our plate because our parents grew up in the period just after the Second World War when food was scarce and rationed. My Dad in particular whose close family were holocaust survivors really didn’t like to see food not finished/wasted. I have dealt with this as an adult by simply packing up left overs to eat later, whether at home, work or in a restaurant, it completely eliminates any guilt of wasting food. I also try to take less and then go back for seconds if I’m still hungry.
My grandmother grew up during the Depression and she would tell me that if I didn’t finish our plate German mercenaries would come and chop my head off.
Needless to say it’s a learned behavior and takes years to unlearn.
@@Alyssa684Nope, my parents weren’t like this, in fact, mom mom used to throw away food almost daily. There was never too little food.
But the “tricks” sound good, I still really hope Abbey makes a video on it, though, because so many people seem to have that mindset and it would be unfortunate if we kept passing it on to our kids…
As a person living with type 1 diabetes I try and explain people that health is wealth and should be the main focus of any diet changes. I want to lose weight to increase my insulin sensitivity and just feel better. So many women get chronic health issues because of body shaming and wellness culture and it’s absolutely not worth it. We need a systematic change where we will teach women about their bodies without any shame so they can be happy and healthy ❤️
This is so true
Hello from a fellow t1d! 👋🏻☺️
Okay. Wading in, here.
It’s too late for me but I hope my voice added to the chorus of voices singing, ‘don’t waste your life worrying about how you look’ might be the one to push someone to actually listen to that.
At 61, I spent my whole life worrying about how fat I was. It started when I was 12 and started to develop curves. Looking back, I realize I wasn’t overweight or at an unhealthy level of fat on my body but all I could see were my hips spreading and my breasts growing. I desperately wanted it to stop.
Over the years, through the weight fluctuations, pregnancies, health crises and traumatic events I still had that voice screaming in my head that I was too fat to go anywhere or do anything. I sat in the car while my husband took the kids swimming. I stayed home from Christmas parties and other social events.
It began for me at the age of 12 when my mom decided to go on a diet (not her first but the first one I jumped in on). I joined her and haven’t got off the roller coaster since. My daughter also joined us and now, at the age of 23, she’s been fighting anorexia for about a decade.
I hate what I did to her with my selfish desire for an unrealistically, unhealthy body size and my mom, at 82, still watches what she eats but much more for healthy eating than for weight loss.
Her mother also told her she was too fat to find a good husband when my mom was a strong, capable young woman.
It’s generational and cultural as well as societal and very, very sad.
I recognize the things the bigger women in that video said about appreciating their bodies. That’s where my daughter’s counsellor started with her.
It’s true and helpful to realize you have power in your body and to find joy in doing things with it. All my self-consciousness melts away when I’m gliding across the water in my kayak or walking through the woods. When I get home, I feel invigorated and honestly tired. I feel satisfied in my own skin. It’s a rare and beautiful thing.
I can’t get all the experiences I’ve missed out on back but I can and will have new ones to enjoy with abandon for as long as I can. Hopefully, my daughter will be able to join me in those, too, and carry on after I am gone.
Thank you so much for this perspective. My mom is a couple of years older than you and going through a serious health crisis of excess cortisol in her body, which has made her gain weight around her face and stomach. She still comments regularly about how she wants to lose weight and fit into her old clothes again. Her mom, my grandma, constantly talks about weight and appearance (her’s and other people’s). I see this and think about how I don’t want to look back on my life only to realize how many things I missed out on because of how I perceive that I look to others. I’ve had a number of health problems over the years and going through that just made me so thankful for my body and how it can move me through however much life I have to live. I love your rumination of walking in the woods or using your kayak and feeling satisfied and invigorated, and even tired. These are the things that help us feel alive, and it’s a shame to miss out on that.
I relate to your story so much! I’m 60 y/o and grew up hearing I was the chubby one, the fatty one in the family. I was taken to my pediatrician at 13 so he could put me on a diet, and he gave me amphetamines. I almost got addicted to them. It was very hard for me to stop taking them two years later. Looking back at my photos, I can see I was not thin, especially between 10 and 13 y/o, but I was never fat during my teenage years and early youth. I did have an hourglass figure (which I now wish I still had). Pregnancy and menopause did me dirty and I got very fat. Then a serious illness made me lose lots of weight and now I’m very thin, but I still hear the voices calling me fatty and see myself in the mirror and think I’m huge. I wish someone would have taught me back then to love my body, and eat healthy and balanced meals.
Thank you so much for your comment, I am a women in my twenties and I wish that someone had told me this when I was a teenager. I think it’s amazing that you’ve realized the cycle you’ve been stuck in/perpetuated, and that you are actively working to break it!! Best of luck to you on your journey <3
My mom will always proudly exclaim that she never talked about calories or body image to me and my sister. But then do things like refuse to eat lunch until she’s walks 5000 steps. I’ve tried to help her break out of this mindset but I think it’s too engrained in her now. 😢 hopefully I’ve broken the cycle for my own kids.
It was similar with my mom, no calorie talk, but she would tease me whenever I ate something sugary and sometimes she would go on a fast for weeks to lose weight. I don’t think she realized how damaging that mindset was. Let’s be more aware and do better!❤
I thought it was great hearing the women that weighed over 200 were happier with themselves! I wouldn’t have thought so! I’m truly happy for them!
Great video! Great points! Well and respectfully said
Having struggled with weight all my life, and now maintaining a healthy weight.. I can say this.. yes I loved my body even when I was fat, but I was sad that I put my body through everything I did, it broke my heart that my body which worked soo hard for me despite how I was treating it, still kept me alive, my heart kept beating despite my BP being 170/112, my joints held up even though I had a full 105kgs on them, my liver worked hard even though I had NHFL… it broke my heart.. and I’m tearing up now when I think about how I abused my God given body. HENCE I lost the weight, today my BP is normal, my sugar is normal, my knees and feet don’t hurt anymore, I reversed fatty liver.. but yes, all this took a lot of work to control my diet – I don’t consider that disordered eating. I think what’s disordered is treating your body badly, you don’t become obese by truly loving your body!
I developed anorexia in my senior years of high school. When I recovered, I went way too far the other way, but once I realized, I didn’t know how to approach exercise/food/intentional weight loss without falling back into anorexia. It has taken me a DECADE to finally feel like I’ve got a healthy relationship with food and exercise. It is so hard and no one really talks about those who recover from anorexia but then become obese.
Ugh Abbey you’re so right that parents restricting, commenting or trying to make their kids lose weight just causes them to have unhealthy relationships with food and makes them unhappy.
My very well meaning mom and dad sat me down one day as a teen and told me that my weight was unhealthy and I needed to lose weight. At that time in my life I was young and active with sports and wasn’t even overweight! Maybe a bit thicker than my peers. Fast forward to 20 years and two kids later and I am now VERY overweight. I also have a 3 year old daughter. I am on a journey to try to lose weight but I’m also trying my absolute best to not let her see my weight loss attempts because I don’t want her to be traumatized by diet culture. It’s so hard. Your tips are helping me though. I’m trying to heal my relationship with food and think of it as fuel. And I’m finding making sure to keep a balance of protein, fibre and healthy fat is helping. Hunger crushing combo ftw 💪. Thank you Abbey!
I know that it’s just an adjective and a correct one at that the word “fat” makes me cringe so hard because of my own struggle with being large.
Thank you for making this Abbey.
I remember watching this and thinking there were some important messages throughout this video, but the overall way it was done was just awful. It’s obviously that many of the women were trying to appear positive, but that the interview was negatively affecting them.
Jubilee recently released a new video which in my opinion is even worst than this one. They changed the title because it was so controversial. I think it’s now the “how body image affects these 100 women”. They basically rank women by how beautiful they were.
I’ve lived on both ends of the spectrum which gave me a unique outlook on size. I did not feel any better about myself while on the thin end of the spectrum, contrary I felt worse than ever. I couldn’t even recognize myself, food thoughts and body checking was all consuming. It was never enough always needed to drop another 5lbs etc even though I was a size small and lost my period I thought I needed to lose another 5 before I was okay to start dating etc. now I’m back to over 200 and finally figured out it’s has nothing to do with size or shape, absolutely nothing. It is in fact all a in our heads and once we start putting the work into those like we do our size then we will finally start seeing the results we’re looking for. I was fat and sad then thin and sad now I’m fat and working on mental stability lol I think the natural next step after that is mental stability and weight stability. Fingers crossed lol
This is the first I’ve heard of the term “atypical anorexia” and I’m absolutely blown away. I once told a psychiatrist I had achieved my initial goal clothing size and wanted to go further, but was scared of developing anorexic habits. She straight up told me “You don’t have anorexia, you’re too big.” And years later, I’m still so scared of developing anorexic habits that, guess what, I’m still “too big” 😤😠
You don’t have anorexia. Do you want to have it or something? I
It’s amazing how many contradictions there are in duet culture. I love the freedom we face once we conclude we can be free to live in the body we’ve been given.
My 17 year old daughter’s almost 19 year old boyfriend of a year now showed signs of having an eating disorder, he was also seeing spots and blacking out, getting dizzy and we rarely saw him eat or he would eat very little etc… We are very familiar with eating disorders because my sister has battled it her whole life. Alarm bells were going off when she spoke to me and then I advised her she can’t fix it for him, he needs to get help, but she can support him. She sat with him with his parents to talk about it and he admitted feeling guilt around food and eating etc… he has been bullied horribly in school over his weight and it led him spiraling, the conversation led to further conversations and he is now in treatment and getting better. I was so proud my daughter and how she saw it, was gentle bringing it up and supported him helping him not feel shame asking for help. And I’m proud of him for getting the help he needs.
I gave up trying to get ‘skinny’ in my 20s. I was living in a very rural area where there wasnt much in the way of gyms and eating fairly healthy. I walked so much I gave myself osteoarthritis in both knees AND SI joint dysfunction. I wasnt cheaping out on shoes, either. I found out later that I have PCOS. I’m 37 now, and have accepted that I am a bigger bodied taller gal going into a mostly male industry. 5’9 and 260-280. PCOS is something I will ALWAYS struggle with despite having a hysterectomy.